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Valentine’s Day is known for celebrating love and romance. But in the legal realm, it also marks a spike in divorce filings. A 2013 survey of divorce filings in New York, Illinois, and California revealed that February is the month of the year when most new divorce filings happen.
So, why the sudden surge post-Valentine’s Day?
As a Charleston divorce mediator, I’ve noticed four common reasons for why many struggling marriages reach their breaking point on Valentine’s Day
Adultery Finally Comes to Light
If a spouse is cheating, Valentine’s Day is often when their unfaithfulness is unmasked.
Consider the spouse who decides to send their secret lover a gift to celebrate the holiday, only for the other spouse to find out and start asking questions.
Or perhaps the cheating spouse decides to take their lover out for dinner in a public place and word gets back to the other spouse.
Even if the innocent spouse has long suspected there might be cheating, getting confirmation at or near Valentine’s Day is often enough for them to finally walk out and demand a divorce.
Mid-Winter Blues Exposes Relationship Problems
Valentine’s Day sits in the heart of winter. Spending more time together indoors during the winter months can expose or aggravate problems that may have been present for a long time. For some couples, they may become sick of one another and unwilling–or unable–to fix the underlying issues harming their marriage.
Looming Financial Storms
Divorce is not always about adultery or a loss of affection.
It’s often a question of money.
When a couple experiences significant financial stress, this can lead to disagreements about how to fix the situation.
Again, the timing of Valentine’s Day is often critical. The end of the holidays from the previous year often brings bubbling financial problems to the surface.
Coming into the new year, a couple may be facing severe money problems and even the prospect of filing for bankruptcy. By February, a couple’s money problems may be so severe, that celebration may not even be possible, and the spouses may find the strain of dealing with their financial situation is simply too overwhelming.
The Romance Is Gone
Finally, Valentine’s Day can serve as a realization that there is no longer any romance left in the marriage.
Seeing your friends and family members celebrating their relationships can serve as a wake-up call that you haven’t felt that way about your spouse in a very long time.
There doesn’t have to be an underlying trauma like adultery or bankruptcy. It can simply be that you recognize that you and your partner have drifted apart over the years and perhaps you would both benefit from moving on with your lives as single people.
Ending a Marriage Doesn’t Have to Be Painful
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be seen as an ending point for your marriage. It can serve as the beginning of your new life. The decision to seek a divorce is never easy. But if you and your spouse are on the same page about things needing to change, there are ways to bring about a respectful and peaceful end to your marriage that doesn’t involve spending the rest of your year battling in divorce court.
As a Charleston divorce mediator, I’ve assisted many couples in reaching a voluntary settlement agreement that addresses legal matters such as property division, alimony, and child custody. Not only is negotiation through mediation less stressful than traditional litigation; it also gives you and your spouse greater control over the process and, ultimately, your future.
Remember, you don’t need to hire a divorce lawyer to get a divorce. If you’d like to learn more about divorce mediation, call me today at 843-279-8480 to schedule a free consultation.
About Kenneth Peck
Kenneth Peck is a certified Charleston Family Court Mediator with more than 40 years of experience as a divorce attorney. He uses his knowledge and experience to guide couples in negotiating divorce settlements so they can save money, complete the divorce process quicker, and get better outcomes than they would at trial.