Your spouse has just told you that he or she wants a divorce.
Maybe you saw it coming. Or, maybe it was a big surprise!
Either way, dozens of questions are going through your head. What’s going to happen to my children? Can I save my marriage? What should I do? As a Charleston divorce mediation lawyer, I have put together a resource guide of five things to do to protect yourself if your spouse is seeking a divorce.
1. Remain Calm, Listen, and Evaluate Your Situation
If your spouse just told you that he or she is ready to get a divorce, it is normal to feel upset, stressed out, confused, and overwhelmed by the situation. Your initial reaction could be shock, fear, anger, sadness, or a wide range of other emotions. Regardless, it is crucial to stay calm and listen carefully to understand their reasons and what they plan to do next.
This is not the time for heated arguments or blame. Instead, take a step back and objectively assess your feelings and the situation.
Reflect on your relationship’s history and current issues. Can the marriage be saved? Maybe.
Not all marriages can be saved. If your spouse is 100% committed to getting a divorce, you need to be ready to accept that reality and start planning for the road ahead.
2. Know What You Want to Do—But Be Realistic
If divorce is certain, you should focus on what you want your life to be five years from now. Then, outline your plan to get there from where you are today.
What is your ideal outcome? Assess your situation to determine your goals and your needs. At the same time, it is equally important to stay grounded in reality. Consider your ideal outcomes regarding the division of assets and debts. If you are a parent, what type of child custody do you want? Set realistic goals and priorities that reflect not only your desires but also what is fair and feasible.
3. Gather and Organize Documents, Records, and Other Information
Going through a divorce is not easy. There are a lot of legal, financial, and logistical matters that have to be worked out and resolved. Proactive preparation is one of the keys to successfully navigating a divorce case in South Carolina. You should generally begin by collecting all critical financial documents, such as bank statements, tax returns, mortgage documents, and investment records. You should also gather any relevant legal document—like prenuptial agreements―that may affect your rights. Organizing these documents early on will help you develop a strategy.
4. Make Sure You Have the Support Structure You Need in Place
Divorce can be emotionally taxing, so it is vital to have a strong support system. Reach out to friends and family who can offer emotional support and guidance. You should consider seeking professional help, such as a therapist or a counselor, to help manage stress and navigate your emotions during this challenging time.
For some people, joining support groups where you can connect with others going through similar situations can also be beneficial. A network of support will not only provide comfort but also strengthen your resilience. As difficult as it can be to deal with, divorce is something that many other people have gone through before.
You do not have to take on the divorce process alone.
5. Consider Your Options for Working Out an Agreement
Exploring amicable ways to resolve disputes can lead to a smoother, quicker, and less costly divorce process. Consider divorce mediation as the better alternative to a contentious court battle. Using a certified family court mediator can make it easier to compromise, develop solutions that fit your specific needs and wants, and increase your understanding of what you are doing and the effect that it will have on your future.
Mediation is a process where a neutral third party, known as a mediator, helps divorcing couples negotiate and reach agreements on various issues such as property division, child custody, and alimony. Unlike hiring a lawyer to “fight for you,” divorce mediation encourages both parties to find mutually acceptable solutions to complex problems.
Consult With Our Charleston, SC Divorce Mediator Today
At Charleston Divorce Mediators, LLC, we help people find an easier path to divorce. If your spouse is asking for a divorce, mediation may be the right option to resolve your issues, save a lot of money, and move forward faster with your life after divorce. Schedule your confidential initial appointment today. We offer divorce mediation services in Charleston and all across South Carolina. If you do not live near Charleston, we can use Zoom to help you negotiate your divorce settlement agreement.
About Kenneth Peck
Kenneth Peck is a certified Charleston Family Court Mediator with more than 40 years of experience as a divorce attorney. He uses his knowledge and experience to guide couples in negotiating divorce settlements so they can save money, complete the divorce process quicker, and get better outcomes than they would at trial.