Your wife just asked you for a divorce. Many questions are running through your mind.
- Will she automatically get custody of the kids?
- Does divorce mean paying alimony for life?
You feel overwhelmed and it can be hard not to feel like the world is against you. But it’s crucial to navigate this tricky time with care and strategy.
The first thing to remember is that the courts do not guarantee your wife custody of the children. In South Carolina, the law is gender-neutral when it comes to custody. The focus is on what’s best for the kids. Both parents have equal rights to seek custody. The same goes for alimony. It’s not just a one-way street where the husband always pays the wife. The court considers several factors, including the duration of the marriage and each spouse’s finances.
Below are five tips to help you get through your divorce.
Tip 1: Be Transparent with Disclosures
Honesty is the best policy during divorce proceedings. If you hide assets or lie about finances, it will come back to haunt you. Courts take transparency seriously. Disclose what needs to be disclosed. It will help you maintain credibility and show you are willing to play fair.
This doesn’t mean you have to share everything with your spouse. Now would be a good time to change the passwords to all your accounts. Protect your privacy. Divorce is a challenging time, and the last thing you want is your spouse making changes to your accounts without your knowledge. Make sure your finances, emails, and social media accounts are secure.
Tip 2: Remain Calm
It’s easy to feel angry or vengeful but acting on those emotions can harm your case. Rash decisions can lead to unfavorable outcomes. Take a deep breath and keep your cool. If you need to vent, talk to a friend or a therapist. Avoid conflicts and arguments with your spouse. Staying calm shows the court that you can handle stress and are focused on what matters.
Tip 3: Prioritize Your Kids
Your children should be your top priority. They didn’t ask for this, and they’re likely feeling confused and scared. Make sure they know you love them and that the divorce isn’t their fault. Keep their routines as normal as possible. Avoid putting them in the middle of adult issues. The court will take notice of your efforts to maintain a stable environment for your kids.
Tip 4: Avoid Dating and Alcohol
Certain behaviors can paint you in a negative light or even have severe consequences. Two of these behaviors are dating and alcohol.
Avoid dating until after your divorce in finalized. This can prevent you from being accused of adultery. It will also help you avoid stirring up conflict during the divorce process with your spouse.
Additionally, it is best to avoid alcohol until after your divorce. Accusations of alcoholism can affect child custody decisions. The Family courts can consider your habits and lifestyle, so it’s best to keep life simple and stable. It will help you in the long run.
Tip 5: Encourage Your Spouse to Consider Divorce Mediation
Divorce doesn’t have to be a high-conflict thing. With divorce mediation, you and your spouse can get divorced more affordably and privately. The biggest benefit to mediation is that you retain control of the outcome of your divorce. You don’t have to go to court, hire a lawyer, or relinquish power to a judge.
Facing divorce isn’t easy, but taking the right steps can make the process smoother. By being transparent, staying calm, putting your kids first, and avoiding negative behaviors, you’ll be better prepared for what’s ahead. And if you’re able to divorce through mediation, you can save time and money too. Call our office today to find out if divorce mediation is the right choice for you.
About Catherine Marra
Catherine Marra is a nationally certified Divorce Mediator with over 30 years of experience in Family Law, including 20 years in private practice and 10 years as a Family Court Magistrate. She uses her knowledge and experience to guide couples in negotiating divorce settlements so they can save money, complete the divorce process quicker, and get better outcomes than they would at trial.