During your marriage, you and your spouse built a financial life together. You may have bought a house, furniture, cars, and everything in between. Likewise, you may have accumulated debts during your marriage for credit cards, taxes, loans, medical expenses, student loans, and other bills.
Now you are facing divorce. A major contention in nearly every divorce is: “Who gets to keep what?” You will also have to decide: “Who will pay which debts?”
Perhaps, you feel you were the main breadwinner that earned all the money, and so, you should be entitled to more things.
Or, maybe, you were the stay-at-home parent, who gave up a career to support your spouse and care for your children. You think you should be entitled to a bigger share of everything because of that sacrifice.
These thoughts and the intense associated feelings can lead to significant conflict and unproductive conversations regarding the division of marital property and debts. This is why it’s important to take control of your emotions and keep them in check as you work to get what is most important to you in your divorce settlement.
The Property Division Process
In South Carolina, the law requires Family Court Judges to divide property “equitably” rather than “equally.” This means there is a focus on fairness by examining multiple factors such as earning potential of each spouse, the marital standard of living, spousal misconduct, income of each spouse, and how children will be affected.
When you choose to get divorced through Divorce Mediation, you can avoid the court system and come up with a settlement that both spouses like. However, this requires the ability to compromise and agree.
During the mediation process, your divorce mediator will act as a neutral party and identify all the assets that need to be divided. It’s possible that there will be both marital and non-marital property.
Non-marital property refers to property that belongs to only one spouse. This can be the case for property that was acquired before the marriage. Non-marital property can also be things or money received during the marriage through a gift or inheritance. While non-marital property is not required to be split, it can become a bargaining chip in negotiating a divorce settlement, if you decide to give up some of your non-marital property to get marital property or something else that you really want as part of the settlement.
Your Divorce Doesn’t Have To Cost You A Fortune.
Get Started NowThe Key to Negotiation: Know Your Priorities
During the mediation process, it is important to accept that you won’t be able to keep everything. You need to narrow down your goals to what is most important to you. There are things that will have a lot of practical value, such as a vehicle. And there are other things that hold a lot of emotional, sentimental value such as a pet. By identifying the things you care about most, you are also able to identify the things you are willing to give up.
Another thing to consider is the true cost of keeping certain items. For instance, if you really want to keep the house, you need to know whether you can afford it on your own after the divorce. Another example would be to determine if you can afford to house and feed the family pet. Knowing your financial and circumstantial limits can help prevent you from fighting for something you might have to give up anyway.
Practice Empathy During Your Charleston Divorce
The reality of divorce is that both spouses will have to “start over” and begin living separate lives. This split of a single household brings out many fears. There will be fears regarding financial stability, loneliness, and .
By keeping this in mind, you can focus discussions of property division on giving each spouse the stability you both crave and need to start a new life. In other words, your goal is to seek out scenarios where both of you win.
Sometimes this may require creative thinking or compromises such as selling a big-ticket item and splitting the proceeds.
Divorce Mediation Can Foster Calm Negotiation
Divorce Mediation is often the ideal way to get divorced for many Charleston residents. By avoiding the courts and combative lawyers, you can reach a mutual agreement that lets both spouses keep more of their property, instead of using their resources to pay lawyers for a drawn-out, litigious divorce.
Mediation is more private than a regular divorce and keeps control centered on the spouses. Our team of divorce mediation lawyers can help guide property division negotiations so that everyone gets a fairer outcome that they agree on.
Put your divorce in good hands today. Schedule a free consultation with one of our experienced Charleston mediation divorce lawyers to find out whether mediation will work for your specific situation.
About Kenneth Peck
Kenneth Peck is a certified Charleston Family Court Mediator with more than 40 years of experience as a divorce attorney. He uses his knowledge and experience to guide couples in negotiating divorce settlements so they can save money, complete the divorce process quicker, and get better outcomes than they would at trial.