You thought your spouse would be a dependable partner for life.
Now it feels like you do everything – work, chores, taking care of your children – while your spouse does nothing. It seems like all they do is watch YouTube or play video games. They refuse to get a job or help with the chores.
Can your marriage be saved? Or is divorce inevitable?
In some situations, laziness can be resolved. But in other cases, even after trying your best, your spouse may decide not to change.
Every couple is different, but your marriage can be saved if both partners are willing to work at it.
Things to Try Before Divorcing Your Spouse for Laziness
Choosing to divorce is a big decision. Before making that choice, there are three things you can try.
- Communicate: Having an open and honest conversation with your spouse is the first step you should take. Does your spouse understand your frustrations? Are they actually lazy or are your feelings caused by unmet expectations or a misunderstanding of each other’s roles in the relationship? Express your concerns and listen to your partner’s perspective. Sometimes, a frank discussion can lead to positive changes or at least provide clarity on whether divorce is the right path forward.
- Look For Deeper Causes: Laziness may not be an innate character trait of your spouse. Sometimes, laziness is a symptom of a deeper issue such as depression, burnout, or a medical problem – such as an underactive thyroid. If any of these issues are present, then it is time to address the underlying issue through therapy, counseling, or medical intervention.
- Create Clear Assignments: You may want to test setting strict boundaries about which partner is responsible for certain chores and responsibilities. By being clear with expectations with your spouse beforehand, you can see if your spouse is committed to following through with their promises.
If your spouse’s laziness does not improve, it may be time to consider divorce.
You cannot force your spouse to change. And, if all household responsibilities are falling on you, extreme resentment and frustration may be unavoidable.
Mediation May Be the Better Option for Divorcing a Lazy Spouse
You may be tempted to get revenge on a spouse that you feel is leeching off you by hiring an expensive lawyer. However, getting a non-combative, amicable divorce is often better for both you and your children.
You not only get to save money on lawyers, but you also get to retain control of the outcome of your divorce instead of being at the mercy of a judge.
Divorce mediation is also faster than getting divorced through the court system. This added convenience means your divorce agreement can be finished in a single day and can even be done virtually through Zoom.
Communicating these benefits to your spouse makes it more likely that you can get divorced sooner and with less conflict.
Call me today @ 843-323-4687 to schedule your free consultation.
About Catherine Marra
Catherine Marra is a Mediator with over 30 years of experience in Family Law, including 20 years in private practice and 10 years as a Family Court Magistrate. She uses her knowledge and experience to guide couples in negotiating divorce settlements so they can save money, complete the divorce process quicker, and get better outcomes than they would at trial.