You never thought your spouse could hurt you so much. Now you wonder if you can ever forgive your spouse.
Is divorce inevitable?
As a Charleston divorce mediator, I have helped many people work through their problems. In this article, you will find an overview of considerations for giving your spouse a second chance.
Considerations for Giving Your Spouse Another Chance
Did your spouse hurt you—and your marriage—in a terrible way? It could be marital infidelity, reckless spending, or another form of dishonesty. If so, you may be considering filing for divorce. You may also still be considering giving them a second (or third) chance to make things right. Here are some of the considerations to keep in mind if you are trying to decide if you want to give a spouse another chance before filing for divorce in South Carolina:
How Important is Saving the Relationship to You?
Before deciding to give your spouse another chance, you should reflect on the importance of the relationship in your life. It is the best practice to start by considering what initially brought you and your partner together. Introspection can help you determine if your motivation to salvage the relationship stems from deep-rooted love and commitment or from fear of change and anxiety about the unknown. Understanding the depth of your emotional investment can clarify whether the effort to rebuild is worth the investment.
Are they Making a Good Faith Effort to Repair the Relationship?
Does your spouse deserve a second chance? The answer to that question depends, in part, on the effort that he or she is making to repair the relationship. A key aspect of deciding to give your spouse another chance is observing whether they are earnestly trying to mend the relationship. Depending on the situation, this may involve:
- Transparent communication
- Consistent effort; and
- Seeking professional help, such as counseling.
Actions speak louder than words. A genuine attempt to improve, adapt, and fix the issue is fundamental. You should assess their commitment and gauge the feasibility of reconciliation. A second chance should be earned.
Can You Actually Forgive Them?
Can you forgive your spouse? It is a question that you need to ask yourself. You should put genuine thought into whether or not it is possible for you to give your spouse a true fresh start—assuming that they make a good faith effort to earn it. Forgiveness is essential when considering whether to give your spouse another opportunity. You should reflect on whether you can truly let go of the hurt and betrayal—without it resurfacing as a consistent issue in future disagreements. To be clear, forgiveness does not mean forgetting the incident. Instead, it is about processing your emotions and no longer allowing them to control your feelings towards your spouse. This step is deeply personal,
Do You Believe it is Worth Trying to Work Things Out?
Finally, you should assess your overall perspective on the potential for reconciliation. Along with other things, this involves evaluating the love, respect, and trust that remains in the relationship, and whether it forms a strong enough foundation to rebuild upon. Consider the practical aspects of your life together—such as children, finances, and your shared goals.
If you believe that the relationship still holds significant value and potential for growth, it may be worth the effort to try and resolve your differences. The belief can provide the necessary motivation and resilience to navigate the challenges of rebuilding your marriage. Ultimately, the value of your marriage is deeply personal to you and your family.
Every Relationship is Different: No Right or Wrong Answer
Every marriage is different. Some relationships can come back from serious discord. Other marriages may fall apart after seemingly more moderate issues. Whether you should give your spouse another chance to fix things before filing for divorce is a deeply personal decision. There is no one “right” or “wrong” answer to this question. You need to evaluate the value of your marriage, your feelings, and whether or not you truly believe that things can be made right again.
Set Up a Confidential Consultation With Our Charleston Divorce Mediator Today
At Charleston Divorce Mediators, LLC, our Charleston divorce mediator has the professional expertise that you can trust. If divorce is the right option for you, mediation may be the best tool. Schedule your confidential consultation today @ 843-323-4687. Our mediation team works with clients in Charleston and throughout the wider region in South Carolina.
About Catherine Marra
Catherine Marra is a nationally certified Divorce Mediator with over 30 years of experience in Family Law, including 20 years in private practice and 10 years as a Family Court Magistrate. She uses her knowledge and experience to guide couples in negotiating divorce settlements so they can save money, complete the divorce process quicker, and get better outcomes than they would at trial.