You’ve reached the tough decision to divorce, but now you’re faced with another dilemma: When and whom should you tell? Will your friends and family support you or judge you?
Getting divorced is a private and sensitive process. And it can still result in being stigmatized by certain people.
This is why it is crucial to formulate a strategy custom to you when it comes to sharing news of your divorce. As an experienced certified Charleston divorce mediator , I have put together some considerations to keep in mind when making these sensitive, crucial decisions.
There is No Right or Wrong Answer for When to Share Your Divorce
First and foremost, it is important to emphasize: You do not have to share any information about your divorce unless you are comfortable doing so.
Deciding when to tell others about your divorce is a deeply personal decision. There is no universal right or wrong timing. Each person’s situation, their emotional readiness, and their support network are different.
You should not hesitate to trust your instincts when deciding if you are ready to share life-changing news. Some people find solace in sharing early, seeking support and understanding from friends and family, while others may choose to wait until they have processed their emotions or the divorce proceedings are completely finalized.
A Divorce Should Not Be a Source of Shame
While you are never under any obligation to share information about your divorce, it is also useful to remember that divorce should not come with a sense of shame. Divorce is often seen through a lens of failure. However, that is a big mistake. It should instead be recognized as a step towards personal growth and a chance to move forward with your life. It represents a decision to prioritize happiness, health, and well-being—both for you and your family. Acknowledging this transition as a positive step can empower you to share your experience without feeling shame.
Talking About Your Divorce Does Not Mean that You Have to Share All of the Details
In some cases, people are hesitant to talk about their divorce because they do not want to air out all their “dirty laundry”. Choosing to talk about your divorce does not mean you’re obligated to divulge every detail of your relationship or the reasons behind the split.
It is entirely acceptable to set boundaries around what you are comfortable sharing. You can ask for support and understanding without feeling pressured to explain or justify your personal decisions. Remember, sharing your experience is not an invitation for judgment or even advice. It is a part of healing and moving on.
You Do Not Have to Tell All People at the Same Time
You do not have to tell everyone about your divorce. Indeed, you may want to start by sharing the information with some of the people closest to you—a parent, spouse, trusted friend, etc—while still keeping your divorce private from others, such as work colleagues.
It is perfectly acceptable (and totally normal) to decide who to tell and when, based on your level of trust and the type of support you expect from each individual. Starting with a close circle of friends or family can provide a safety net of understanding and compassion during these potentially challenging times.
If Possible, Try to Get on the Same Page as Your Spouse
Here is a potential challenge: Imagine that you are getting divorced in South Carolina. You are not ready to talk about it yet. Then, your spouse goes and makes a public announcement on a social media website without first consulting with you. That is an extremely frustrating situation to deal with.
Ideally, it is best to avoid that. If circumstances allow, coordinating with your spouse on how to announce your divorce can minimize misunderstandings and ensure a unified message to your children, friends, and family. It is an approach that can help manage the narrative, reduce speculation, and provide a mutual support system—even as you end your marriage.
Get Help from a Divorce Mediator in Charleston, South Carolina
At Charleston Divorce Mediators, LLC, we help people find a faster, more affordable solution to their divorce. If you have any specific questions or concerns about divorce mediation, we are here to help. Contact us today @ 843-323-4687 to schedule your confidential appointment. From our Charleston office, we are well-positioned to provide family and divorce mediation support throughout South Carolina.
About Catherine Marra
Catherine Marra is a nationally certified Divorce Mediator with over 30 years of experience in Family Law, including 20 years in private practice and 10 years as a Family Court Magistrate. She uses her knowledge and experience to guide couples in negotiating divorce settlements so they can save money, complete the divorce process quicker, and get better outcomes than they would at trial.