Divorce is tough on everyone – particularly kids.
As a parent contemplating divorce, you are probably wondering: “How will this affect my children?”
This is a natural worry. Going through a divorce is a significant life change for your children, as well as you.
As an experienced Charleston divorce attorney, I’ve seen how children can adapt with the right support. Fortunately, there are key strategies that can help them adjust while maintaining their emotional health.
Put Your Children First!
A common misconception is that staying in a marriage is always better for the children. However, sometimes, putting your children “first” means that you need to file for a divorce.
Research has shown that staying together in a high-conflict or unhappy marriage can be worse for children than going through a divorce. Constant exposure to conflict, tension, or emotional distress can have negative effects on the well-being of your children.
In some cases, a divorce may reduce the amount of conflict for the children and lead to a more stable home life. Experts have found that a calmer home can benefit children’s growth and development.
Divorce will change your family’s life, but you and your children can thrive after your divorce if you focus on making the divorce easier for your children.
What Effects Will My Charleston Divorce Have on My Children?
Each child responds differently to divorce. Although children are deeply affected, a divorce does not automatically doom a child’s future or emotional well-being. Children can respond well when both parents are calm and supportive.
Younger children, especially those under ten, may not fully understand why their parents are separating. They might feel confused, sad, or even blame themselves for the split. They may become concerned by changes in their daily routine. For example, moving to a new home, attending a different school, or adjusting to a parent’s new work schedule can create feelings of anxiety.
Middle school children are more aware of what’s happening, but they can still feel insecure. For example, they may wonder, “If my parents can’t stay together, what does that mean for my future relationships?”
Divorce can create upheaval for a teenager. Teens may face a whirlwind of emotions. Their stability at home may be shaken. Socially, things can get tricky, too. A teen may feel isolated from friends, who aren’t going through the same challenges. The stress and distraction can also make it hard for a teenager to focus on homework and tests.
kids can adjust to changes from divorce.
3 Keys for Making Divorce Easier for Kids.
As a Charleston divorce attorney, here are my top 3 tips for making divorce easier for your children:
- Provide Affirmation: Reassure your children regularly that they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault. Encourage them to share their thoughts and fears. Listen to them. And, validate their feelings to help them feel secure.
- Reduce Conflict with Your Spouse during Your Divorce: Avoid arguing with your spouse in front of your children. Putting “kids in the middle” of adult arguments can create stress and confusion for your children. By reducing your children’s exposure to fights with your spouse, you will help maintain a sense of security and stability for your children. Handling disagreements privately will reduce the emotional burden for your children.
- Settle Your Divorce Through Mediation: Mediation is a less contentious, more cost-effective way to divorce. Mediation keeps the focus on the future, not the past or who is “wrong”. Importantly, mediation puts you and your spouse in control of the outcome. You can tailor solutions to best serve the needs of your children.
Your Divorce Doesn’t Have To Cost You A Fortune.
Get Started NowChoose To Mediate With a Charleston Divorce Lawyer
Mediation is the better way to protect your children in a divorce. Mediation is low-conflict and stays private. There are no lengthy child custody evaluations or court hearings. Choosing to mediate puts your children’s needs first. Mediation is also quicker and less expensive.
If you are concerned about the potential impact of divorce on your children, I am here to help you. Please contact me for a free phone consultation to explore your options to protect your children. Call 843-279-8480.
About Kenneth Peck
Kenneth Peck is a certified Charleston Family Court Mediator with more than 40 years of experience as a divorce attorney. He uses his knowledge and experience to guide couples in negotiating divorce settlements so they can save money, complete the divorce process quicker, and get better outcomes than they would at trial.